The Scientist
by irishflute
Summary: Sebastian didn't care about Dave. No way. But … why did he still feel so guilty? Inspired by the song The Scientist by Coldplay, in response to a tumblr post/request by flamesofatimelord.


**Based on the song The Scientist by Coldplay (prompt from a post by the lovely flamesofatimelord over on tumblr!).**

**Warnings: mentions of suicide attempt (past, brief)**

**I own neither the song nor the show.**

Sebastian _hated_ this feeling. It was as though something was gnawing at his gut, making his stomach churn uncomfortably. Reluctantly, he put a name to the nauseating sensation: _guilt._ Standing in the Scandals parking lot, the feeling was only growing stronger. He hadn't been there in weeks – not since the time before Dave Karofsky's suicide attempt.

For a while, he'd tried to convince himself it was just a coincidence. He'd been busy. He hadn't felt like going out. He didn't care about Dave; there was no way one conversation was causing him to avoid one of his main hang-outs. Besides, it wasn't _his_ fault Karofsky tried to off himself. Those bigoted assholes at his school pushed him over the edge; not Sebastian.

Eventually, though, he'd been forced to admit it. As much as he hated the idea of another person having any level of control over him, he wasn't particularly fond of being lied to, either – even when the person lying to him was himself. It would be better if he could just find Dave, give some sort of peace offering, and … hopefully move on.

So, tonight, he decided to take charge and go back to Scandals. Maybe Dave wouldn't even be there. Sebastian grimaced. Was that what he wanted? _Probably not,_ he conceded, _but it'd be a hell of a lot easier._

"Hey, man, are you, like okay? You've been standing there for_ever!_ You haven't moved at all!"

Sebastian snapped his head towards the voice. A plastered teenager in a plaid shirt and a beanie was looking at him with an expression between concern and awe, swaying slightly. Sebastian pressed his lips together, biting back a snide response. Stoner-dude was right – he probably looked ridiculous standing out there staring at the bar. He sighed. "Yeah, fine. Thanks."

Giving the other boy a curt nod, Sebastian took a deep breath and walked towards the entrance. As he flashed his fake ID and paid his cover with a wink and a grin, he found himself slipping back into his usual persona. This was his comfort zone. Why should he be worried about one burly teenager?

Sebastian went straight to the bar and ordered a gin and tonic. Taking a slow swig, he scanned the room. It only took a moment for him to find the familiar form of Dave Karofsky. The larger boy was sitting across the room, facing the other direction. Patrons kept coming up to him, patting him on the back, talking to him for a moment before moving on. Sebastian swallowed heavily. _Must be his first time back, too._ As Sebastian stared across the bar, wondering if he should go over or not, Dave glanced up, accidentally making eye contact. His eyes widened in recognition, then surprise, and it looked like he bit his lip before quickly turning away. _Well, shit._

Eyes narrowed and jaw set, Sebastian drained his beverage and set the glass down on the bar behind him. The last of the gin and tonic burned slightly as it went down his throat. He inhaled and exhales slowly, giving the alcohol a moment to settle into his system. With what he hoped was a suave and collected demeanor, he stood up and made his way towards Dave. The other boy's eyes darted back and forth, and he seemed to consider running, but his indecision lasted long enough for Sebastian to make it to him.

"Hey, Karofsky, it's been a while," he began brashly, his tone much too bright and impersonal. Sebastian winced internally. Not the best start. At least he'd avoided the usual automatic impulse to spew insults.

Dave considered him carefully, eyes clouded with mistrust. "I … Yeah. It has been." A spark of defiance entered his gaze. "Not that you'd care. I'm surprised you even noticed."

Sebastian pressed his lips together and suppressed a sigh of frustration. "Of course I fucking noticed. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since – since I heard."

Blinking in surprise, Dave looked confused and caught off guard. "Oh. I …" he drifted off. "I didn't realize." Eyes trained on the ground, Dave took a breath. "Why?"

"Because I care about you."

Dave looked up quickly, hopefully. "You do?"

"God – of _course_ I do. Why do you think I was such an asshole to you last time? _Because this fucking scares me._ I don't do feelings because I'm shit at them. I push people away and I hurt them and I am so, _so _sorry." Sebastian fiercely rubbed his eye, purposefully ignoring the moisture on his cheeks. "When I heard – when I thought you might be gone – I panicked. I just wanted to find you. Take back everything I said. Tell you how wonderful you really are."

Dave blushed and looked away, trying not to give into the smile fighting to take over his face. "If that's true … why didn't you come see me before? In the hospital or something. Have you just been hanging around Scandals waiting for me to show up?"

"No. Actually, I've been trying to forget everything about you. For a while, I thought that would be the best way to keep both of us safe." Sebastian smiled wryly. "We see how well _that_ worked out," he sighed. "But you were always there – you haunted my every move. I tried to deny it, but … I need you, Dave."

"Is that why you came here?" Dave asked, his eyes fixed on Sebastian.

"Yeah," Sebastian admitted, holding his gaze. "I figured, what better way to make a new first impression than by going back to the start?"

Finally, Dave relaxed, visibly releasing the tension from his body and breaking into a grin. He stuck out his right hand, inviting a handshake. "Hey. I'm Dave Karofsky. Nice to meet you."

Sebastian took Dave's hand in his own, holding it securely. "Hello, Bear Cub," he said with a smirk. "The pleasure's mine."


End file.
